Start Me Up

Happy New Year, friends! 

I love a good new year. I am one of those people who enjoy symbolically/metaphorically/literally starting with a clean slate any chance I get. For Christmas, the reigning tradition in my family since my parents divorce has been to write out our goodbyes to the previous year and then our wishes for the approaching one. We set them on fire in the backyard and send them out into the universe. I have high hopes for 2013. I enter every year with high hopes. The difference is, 2012 is one of the few years I also leave behind with little regret.

For being a life-long war, this whole learning-to-love-myself thing is marching along quite nicely. I look back at the progress I’ve made over the past six months- not only with my eating habits, but with my overall perception of myself- and I am full of gratitude and pride. It may take me a while longer to get completely on board with my outer beauty, but I am regularly astounded by the resilience and introspection of the brave little soldier that stands at attention inside this body of mine. 

The elimination diet continues…I think dairy is out for me. Sugar seems to directly effect my joint stiffness and skin tenderness, but as of yet, I still don’t have a direct link to my headaches. Still laying off the gluten, and the headaches over the past few months continue to be less severe and less frequent. Why are they still there at all, though?!? 


            “It’s a mystery!”


 I  should probably mention that I chopped off all my hair today.


          The floor after Jori was finished.

I’ve always wanted to get to a point where I liked my face enough to not feel the need to hide behind my hair. In college, I depended on my waist-length hippie tangles to hide my face as well as my extra weight and hunched shoulders.  

I probably jumped the gun as far as what I was ready for, but…new year/ new hairdo. This is how my brain works.



                 the “holy hell that’s short!” side.



                       the “long” side

The end result….I don’t love.  I love my hairdresser, though, and she really did give me exactly what I asked for. I sense that it will be better after it grows out a bit, especially in the front.  A few years ago, the new ‘do would have evoked a huge ocean of tears from me. Today, not so much. It’s not the best look for me, but whatever. It’s just hair. It will grow back. And now I finally know what I look like with a short cut. I’m thinking maybe I would have liked it more if I didn’t go for the asymetrical look, either, but again- that was me being impulsive. C’est la vie. You live and learn, right?  And in the mean time, it will at least be really easy to manage.

So. This, my friends, is what we call progress. I am a work-in-progress. And I progress. 

To quote my sister, “let’s light up 2013!”

Shall we?



  My obligatory “I can’t believe I did this” face.

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